A Look at a Pain-Filled Marriage

In these times where it is not uncommon to hear of broken marriages that come as a result of agony over heart-breaking disappointments and frustrations, I was led to learn about one of the greatest figures in American and world history. In fact, He has been ranked by scholars as among the top three U.S Presidents of all time, with the majority of those surveyed placing him first. He was the leading man during the American Civil War in the fight to unite the states of America and henceforth, to bring a stop to slavery to the land that is now commonly known as the "land of the Free", the United States of America.

However, that man, Abraham Lincoln had a troubled marriage. A mess that caused both Him and Mary Todd Lincoln, his spouse, much misery. Mary ever said of Lincoln that he "was not a demonstrative man... When he felt most deeply, he expressed the least." He was absent emotionally or physically, most of the time. He was lenient and permissive with his children and left their management almost entirely to his wife.

An author, by the name of Mark Noll wrote the following on the subject "The Struggle for Lincoln's Soul." about his wife.

"She pushed Lincoln relentlessly to seek high public office; she complained endlessly about poverty; she overran her budget shamelessly, both in Springfield and in the White House; she abused servants as if they were slaves (and ragged on Lincoln when he tried to pay them extra on the side); she assaulted him on more than one occasion (with firewood, with potatoes); she probably once chased him with a knife through their backyard in Springfield; and she treated his casual contacts with attractive females as a direct threat, while herself flirting constantly and dressing to kill. A regular of the White House wrote of Mrs. Lincoln that 'she was vain, passionately fond of dress and wore her dresses shorter at the top and longer at the train than even fashions demanded. She had great pride in her elegant neck and bust, and grieved the president greatly by her constant display of her person and her fine clothes.'"

But! The two stayed married! They kept at least that part of their vows. They embraced the pain, even if they could not (or would not) remove it.

The result of the perseverance of Lincoln and Mary staying married even through the pain was tremendous, in fact, nation-changing, deeply transforming the minds of world politicians. Firstly, the many years of dealing with his turbulent wife had prepared Lincoln for encountering the difficult people during his presidency. Secondly, through the struggle of his misery, he had been refined and tempered in his patience, tolerance, forbearance and forgiveness, like diamonds that come from carbon through extreme pressure and temperature.

Abraham Lincoln, as a result, blessed the nation that He led and so as the nations of the world as we have looked at the beginning.

What a real life illustration of the Bible truth:

"but we also rejoice in our sufferings,
because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
perseverance, character;
and character, hope."
~Romans 5:3-4