This morning I awoke to a rather abrupt start of the day as I had a rather late night yesterday. After having done my daily reflection and some final preparation for this Sunday's Worship service, I found myself asleep on my couch by about 3 a.m. (Talk about having a rather comfortable sofa). The practice was at 10 a.m and as usual, it is my commitment to be there earlier to prepare for the practice. I opened my eyes to the clock showing 8 a.m and the next, 9 a.m. Well, I could just make it on time. I was feeling a little washed out and half-awake then.
Still, I trusted the Lord would work all things out. The songs, the musical arrangement. I thank the Lord for each musician, the projectionist and one of the support singers who came together. Without them, we would not be having the worship arrangements like we always have.
We started practising and on we went. Each of us may certainly have our distinct styles and ways of playing, but I sense some little frustration somewhere within me that the musical arrangement didn't exactly go the way I had envisioned it to be. As part of my usual preparation, I brought along CDs and song pieces on audio files to play for all of us to listen to so as to synchronize some thoughts on the musical arrangement for certain songs. We tried. I could sense some of us really tried. Still, it didn't really go exactly as how I had imagined it.
God, you know, sometimes, I struggle with the fact that we may not be able to play not exactly, but, as well as the musical arrangements we hear on those CDs. And Lord, I feel frustrated on occasions. It's not really easy.
I hold closely within my heart as how You convict me time and again to press on in...
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart,
as working for the Lord, not for men,
since you know that you will receive an inheritance
from the Lord as a reward.
It is the Lord Christ you are serving."
~Colossians 3:23-24 (NIV)
This was the very same passage that went round in circles in my head through the practice this morning. Lord, I'm serving You. We are serving You. And I choose to want to serve You excellently, because You said, "with all your heart". Yet again Lord, It can be difficult at times especially when we are serving with others.
I had thoughts of the various parts that did not go well, which can be attributed to the individuals who played the instruments. But I know that these thoughts may not be edifying for a significant part of them. I laid them down to You, God.
Yet again, I thank You for whispering in my head through the practice as well, that I exercise humility and forbearance for my fellow siblings in Christ, that I be gentle and patient. That was not exactly easy Lord. But You held me. And You sustained me. Thank You.
"As a prisoner for the Lord, then,
I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient,
bearing with one another in love.
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit
through the bond of peace."
~Ephesians 4:1-3 (NIV)
At times, we may feel dissatisfied with our experience with our fellow brothers and sisters, feel disappointed that things do not go as how God may have impressed upon our hearts, feel inadequate somewhat in our service for God. Remember that while the Lord desires for us to be serving Him excellently, He also likewise desires us to be "completely humble, gentle, patient, and bearing one another in love", keeping the "unity of the Spirit".
Jesus, to Your Praise alone I lift my life and service. Amen
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